Restarting 2024: A Candid Reflection on Overcoming Challenges

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Welcome back to my corner of the internet! It's been a while (years actually) since I last connected with you all, but here I am, back on this virtual couch, ready to spill my thoughts once again. Today, on February 28th, 2024, at 5:38 PM, I find myself compelled to open up and share what's been brewing inside. To anyone watching my life from the sidelines, my community, and my family… Life is GOOD (RIGHT)? I just closed my eyes and thought back to the 18 year old Shannah. I was a bit clueless. My 16 year old sister was pregnant with my niece. She was living in my grandfather’s old project apartment (the same apartment my mother lived in when she was pregnant at 16 with me)… Isn’t that ironic? We spent a large part of our teenage life in a group home (something I don’t share with a lot of people). My sister left because she was pregnant and I moved out shortly thereafter to help take care of my niece. I just started college (Long Island University). I picked that school simply because my grandfather wanted me to go there and I wanted to make him proud. He felt it was prestigious when in actuality it was just expensive AF. I dropped out after a couple of semesters, then went back after a long break, then eventually transferred to John Jay College where I earned a Bachelor’s in Public Administration w/ a concentration in Human Resource Management and a minor in Government. Come to think of it… I never picked up my degree after graduation in 2011 because I didn’t want to hang it in my (then) boyfriend’s house. Didn’t feel like he deserved to see it… Anyways, back to 18 year old me… At that time I was dating a booster (if you know, you know) or was I dating that other guy… Wait a minute, I was dating that other guy, but had a crush and was secretly falling in love with the booster.

We’ll call the booster Aiden. We were introduced to each other by a friend because of our love for “getting money”. The first day we met, we went to the King of Prussia Mall to “get money” and on the way back… we crashed. We crashed bad on the highway… the car flipped multiple times. He was speeding (rushing back to Brooklyn to go to a party). Moments before the crash, I was laid down in the passenger seat with no seatbelt on taking a nap. I opened my eyes and saw him put on his seatbelt. I thought to myself, if he’s wearing his seatbelt then maybe I should wear mines. I adjusted my seat (from the recline position). I put my seatbelt on. I pulled out his CD book (old school, I know). I found Shaft Soundtrack CD (I think) and played it. R Kelly was the first song, I believe. We crashed on the first song. When I woke up, I was in the hospital in Pennsylvania somewhere. They cut my clothes off in ER, I vaguely remember opening my eyes while the jeans I loved were being cut off of me. It was our first date so of course I was trying to look cute. It was now in the middle of the night. I was in a neck brace and barely remembered what happened. I screamed for my family… whew… this line right here “I screamed for my family” just brought tears to my eyes. My father and aunt came to the hospital. He was the only one that saw the vehicle after the crash. Everything inside of the car had fell out the busted windows while we were flipping over. Aiden’s arm was busted wide open (but thankfully not broken). He needed 40+ stiches in his arm. That seat belt saved my life. That seatbelt gave me a second chance at life. At 18, that could’ve been it for me… my sister was supposed to come with me to the mall that day, but I told her no. Good thing I did. She would’ve been sitting in the back seat. That was a second chance at life for the both of us.

There has been several times in my life since that moment that I screamed for my family… They’ve picked up the pieces so many times over the last 20+ years. That’s where the healing needs to start. How many therapy sessions would it have taken me to realize this… I screamed for my family — what a moment of self-discovery.

I read something that said, issues as an adult are just unhealed childhood trauma. We’ll have to dissect this a bit more in another blog post… For now, let’s fast forward to present day. Nearly 25 years later, sitting in my Brooklyn apartment on this laptop typing to you at 42.

Single, childless, and grappling with the demands of work, I'm in a constant struggle to find consistency and establish a routine. From falling behind on campaigns, re-thinking my WHY, and battling an old hip issue that keeps me away from the gym, the weight of it all seems to bear down heavily, even in this early part of the year.

Just yesterday, I flew to Orlando, Florida to bid farewell to departing colleagues. A quick break I needed, but couldn’t really afford to take. Sitting at the restaurant distracted with the long list of things to do on my plate. I checked into my hotel just before midnight for a quick power nap before catching a 5am flight back to New York City. I rushed back to attend a lunch with the team of Collective Voice (a company I’ve been working with on social media over the past 6 months). Amidst the chaos, there's a brief moment of tranquility during lunch sitting in between a Blogger and Social Media Influencer, a reminder of the importance of honoring commitments and finding solace.

It was during this moment, I realized I needed another reset for 2024. Something needed to give… because THIS hustle and bustle will not be happening for the next 10 months.

Speaking of starting over, this isn't my first attempt at rebooting 2024. It's the third iteration, to be precise. But each restart brings with it a renewed sense of hope and determination. As I sit here, reflecting on the past and looking ahead to the future, I'm reminded of the profound truth that every morning presents a fresh opportunity to reinvent ourselves, to embrace the journey of self-discovery, and to seize the day with unwavering resolve.

So, here's to March 1st, 2024, and the countless tomorrows that lie beyond. Let's embrace the power of starting over, one day at a time, and remember that no matter how daunting the challenges may seem, we hold within us the strength to rewrite our stories, to redefine our paths, and to embrace the infinite possibilities that each new day brings.

Join me as I navigate the twists and turns of life, sharing my triumphs, my setbacks, and everything in between. Together, let's embark on this journey of self-discovery, resilience, and unwavering optimism. Because in the end, it's not about how many times we fall—it's about how many times we choose to rise again.